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Family 2009

Trip to Ukraine

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Beach Trip



















Jon had a couple days off, so the three of us went to the beach for a few days (boys not available). The weather was great and we spent a lot of time on the beach with the dogs. We even tried our hand at clam digging, but the tide was really too high and we only got one.









We went to a store where DeAnna found a pair of sunglasses that she wanted really bad. It was a sunny day and they were only four dollars so we said yes. She kept giggling and saying thank you, thank you, I'm so happy!!! People were smiling and turning to look at someone so happy. I tried to quiet her down a little and a lady said, "its okay, just let her be happy!" We went up to the Astoria column where the view was spectacular. The column was closed for repairs so we couldn't climb up.





















On the way home we had ice cream. More happiness!









The next day we walked the prom in Seaside. DeAnna insisted on posing on each of the benches, while sprinting up and down the sidewalk in between. Endless energy!






Saturday, February 14, 2009

Adoption Day Anniversary

February 11 is the anniversary of our adoption day. We didn't make a big deal out of it because DeAnna really prefers to think she has always been with us. She is at the stage now where she doesn't want to look at pictures of Ukraine at all. Jon kiddingly said something one day about her going back and playing for the Ukrainian national basketball team when she is older and she said NO, I here now! We didn't even know she was paying attention.
So for now we just focus on the fact that she is with us forever!

We also spent the day going to the doctor for a lingering bad cough. We saw our regular pediatrician's brother and partner in the practice. He was very nice to her and when he left the room she said "I like that boy, he's nice".

We then went to TCBY for a treat. I doesn't matter what day it is, every day is a day to celebrate being together!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

11 Months Home

DeAnna has been home 11 months, and she has really changed from toddler-like to a little girl. She has recently lost 2 teeth, and grown an amazing 5 inches in 10 months, as well as 3 pounds!! I keep buying her new jeans and they are too short before I know it. She likes to dress up and have her hair styled every day.
She loves to write and carries a spiral notebook around most of the time. Her penmanship is excellent. She likes to write the names of those in her family and some of her very good friends, including Krista her favorite older girl friend!
She is happy 99% of the time and she always wants everyone else to be happy as well. She asks us many time a day "are you happy?" and "do you love me?" Of course we tell her we love her all the time but she likes the reinforcement. We're working on teaching her that even if we are not happy we still love her.

Monday, February 2, 2009

One Year Ago, The Homecoming

On the final morning of our adventure, Yana had arranged to pick us up two hours before our flights left.  It didn't seem like enough time to me, but she was the expert and had done this many times before.  Once in the van the trip to the airport was endless.  Lots of traffic, and way further than I remembered.  I was seriously having an anxiety attack about making it in time.  By the time we arrived at the airport, Yana handed us some papers and we very quickly said goodbye to her and ran to the check in.  I wish we would have more time to thank her for all she had done for us.
We got through the huge crowd of people with our documents without incident.  When we made our way to the gate they were announcing the last call for boarding!  We barely made it. 
The flight from Ukraine to New York was challenging.  Deanna was very hyper and irritable. She wanted to walk around and lay on the floor.  The flight attendants spoke Russian to her in "baby talk" and were kind of rude to us.  They kept bringing her treats and drinks.  It was impossible to have any authority with her in this situation.  No one slept at all.  Landing in New York, we checked in with all of our official documents.  The people there were very nice but kept calling her a him!  Even though she had short hair she did have a dress on!  Deanna was literally bouncing off the walls in the airport.  We kind of gave up and let her run wild.  She wouldn't even eat anything.  We decided to take charge for the final flight.  Jon and I put her in the seat between us and said no getting up.  We physically kept her there and she soon fell asleep.  We did not move the entire flight for fear we would wake her.
When we arrived home she was a different child.  She was very happy and obedient.  She was so excited to meet her brothers and took to them right away.  She rode in her car seat without any complaint.  We went home and she ran through the house clapping her hands.  She was thrilled with her room and her clothes.  I asked her if she was hungry and she shook her head yes.  She proceeded to the kitchen and started setting the table with 5 bowls!  
We were told to ease her into new situations and new people slowly, but she never had any issues with new things.  She was and continue to be incredibly brave and fearless in any situation. 

Sunday, February 1, 2009

One Year Ago, Back to Kiev

We made it to the night train.  All 4 adults, a small child and a ton of luggage.  The train only stops at the platform for a very short time.  In that time you must run and push your way to the designated car, heave your things (and child) on, and jump on yourself, before the train takes off again.  We had one sleeping car to ourselves, which consisted of four bunks, two up and two down.  The door to the hallway closes and it is private.  People actually share these with strangers sometimes!  There is an attendant lady that you can get tea from, but ours was extremely unpleasant.  I'm not sure she would help you out in an emergency.  The bathroom was at the end of the train car, and quite terrifying.  All metal, cold, dark, and when you flushed the bottom of the toilet opened up and you can see the tracks go by.  I visited it once.  I guess this also prevents you wanting to drink any tea. 
We settled in for the night, as it was near midnight.  Before bed I got out some Benadryl to give Deanna as I was afraid she would have trouble sleeping.  I was giving her some from a medicine spoon, and it was a children's concentration so she needed a couple spoonfuls.  Yana was watching me carefully and fearing she thought I was giving too much I said I had carefully calculated the dosage.  Yana said (insert serious Russian accent) "give her another".  This is another phrase we still use!
Deanna and I shared a bottom bunk. They were very long and narrow so I had her sleep at one end and I at the other.  Several times in the night she could crawl up and stroke my face, then crawl back down.  I don't think she slept well but she was very good.  It was a long night.  The train stopped many times and was very hot. 
After arriving back in Kiev, we were taken to our final apartment for the duration of the stay.  It was not as nice as the one we were in before, and the bathroom smelled.  It had one bedroom and a sleeper couch in the living room.  Susie didn't like it either so she opted to stay in a hotel.  The first day we were there I was trying to have Deanna take a nap on the bed.  I knew she was really tired but she was fighting it.  She cried and cried alternating between wanting me to lay in bed with her and wanting me to leave the room.  She finally fell asleep for several hours and was fine from then on.  She loved taking a bath in the tub and we think it was the first time she actually got to play in the water.
We took her to several restaurants during our stay in Kiev.  Apparently the people of Kiev don't take children out as much as we do here.  There were never any children's menus or child cups with a lid.  They would bring Deanna a large drink filled to the brim every time and every time she would somehow knock the whole thing over.  This caused Jon a great amount distress.  Looking back it was quite comical.
While in Kiev we had to take Deanna to a Ukrainian medical clinic for an exit physical and to the US Embassy for a Visa.  They we could catch our flight, and go HOME.  We had to have more pictures taken for the Visa, and she looks really scary in those pictures.  When driving around Kiev, children do not sit in car seats, or even wear seat belts.  Deanna always wanted to stand on the seat.  I tried to make her sit and put a seat belt on but she would resist me.  Yana said, why do you care?, like why am I choosing to battle her on that issue.  Safety aside, I was afraid she would throw a fit at home when she was restrained in a car seat, after getting away with this here.  It was still a little tough disciplining her with Yana around because she would only mind Russian speaking people.  All in all she really was an angel considering she was a small child with no verbal communication skills, no life experiences at all, and just taken from the only place she has ever known.
This time of the trip is more of a blur to me now.  It was not a lot of fun because we were so stressed out about making our flight and so anxious to go home.
The physical appointment was uneventful.  It was really nice to go to the American Embassy and actually talk to Americans!  Normally the Visa take two days, but we were there on Friday and they did it for us in one day enabling us to make our scheduled flight out.  We were so very thankful for that.


One Year Ago: Breaking The Girl Out

So, early Monday morning......or later that afternoon as Ukrainian time goes, we were finally able to take her from the orphanage gates forever.  I was feeling better, but shaky and pale (as shown in photos from that day) but nothing would stop us from making our escape that day.  We had treats for her going away party, and small gifts for the staff, all per Yana.  I had her outfit all ready, a cute dress, heavy Ukrainian tights, shoes and a girly pink jacket.  We arrived at the orphanage and they let me change her in a room by myself.  She was apparently told of the happenings because she was ripping her clothes off!  She had worn the same skirt every single day since we had met her, with the exception of pajamas.  I really wish I would have kept it, but at the time I just didn't care.  She was so excited and proud of her new clothes.  There were many adults at the party that I had never seen before, and everyone was friendly and happy.  We were allowed in an area of the orphanage that we had never been in before.  They actually let us see the sleeping room, and where her bed was.  Yana took my camera and snapped some pictures of the forbidden areas and I am thankful for that.  The party was over soon enough and we left there forever.  Deanna was holding our hands and skipping all the way. It was very, very happy and exciting for all.  She knew she was leaving with us but I was still worried if she really understood that she would not be returning.  Come nightfall would she freak out??  At least we had Yana to help us communicate.
We went to a small restaurant for dinner before leaving town.  Yana ordered Deanna noodles with milk and sugar, she said kids eat that.  Deanna ate very little of it, she was still so excited.  Afterward we went back to the apartment to get out things and wait till it was time to go to the train station.  After we had been there a while Deanna became out of control. (Yana left to get train tickets so we had no help) She was so hyper and would not mind us at all.  She was running around grabbing everything.  I was really afraid she would break something.  She started grabbing drawers and yanking them out, all while laughing and having fun.  I had to get very stern and restrain her.  She started crying and crying.  I felt terrible but I had won.  She settled down and didn't act up like THAT again.  I now know that when she is tired she becomes more and more hyper and silly.  We still had to make the overnight train with a tired, overstimulated child.  This was overstimulation like she had never experienced before.

One year ago, The End of the Wait

The days of the waiting period went on and on.  When it was getting close to the end we got to take her out of the Orphanage on a one occasion to have  passport pictures taken, with an orphanage escort.  Deanna was a little mischievous , but always obeyed anyone speaking Russian.  There were many paperwork issues to resolve.  We had to go and have a new birth certificate issued, a Ukrainian passport made, and banking matters.  Apparently some orphans have accounts set up for them by the government with money for their medical expenses.  Deanna's amounted to a few hundred dollars.  It is customary to return this money to the orphanage as a donation (along with the other donation you are giving them). We had to go to a "public" bank with Yana and an orphanage official to do this.  It was a very crowded place with no real lines. It was dark, dreary, crowded and noisy (yelling in Russian).  Reminded me of a foreign bus or train station in the ghetto.  It was in stark contrast to the posh marble inlay floors and crystal chandeliers of the bank where we exchanged our money in the center of town. I asked Yana and she said, "Shari, that is a private bank" Oh, how silly of me!  We soon pushed our way to the front of the line, as is apparently customary, however uncomfortable for us Americans.  It was a several hour process to get this accomplished. 
Several times during our process we had to go to the Notary's office.  A Notary in Ukraine is more like an attorney back home. These offices were always very, very crowded.  Yana would leave us outside, then come get us and we would go to the front of the line.  People would mutter things in Russian, and give us dirty looks (according to Jon).  Apparently you can pay to get your services expedited.  When I asked about this I was told, "Shari, you always pay for help".  The notary we saw was an odd man with a pin striped suit.  He reminded me of Robin Williams.  He spoke no English but would go on and on about politics,  the USA,  anti women and minority facts, and off color jokes.  He would pause so Yana could translate his ramblings to us (while rolling her eyes!)  He was quite full of himself but enjoyed entertaining the American's while the crowd waited the other room.
Once we had all of our documents in order, and it was to-the-day the end of our 10 day waiting period, we could go get our girl....right?  Wrong.  It was a Friday and the director was not at the orphanage.  She needed to sign the papers, but no one could get a hold of her.  Too bad for you.  Are you kidding me?  Everyone in that country has cell phones and no one can get in touch with her?  This may not seem like a big deal, but after several weeks in that depressing, freezing, unfriendly little town we wanted out.  I didn't even want to see most of the clothes I had been wearing ever again.  I sent Jon to the dumpster with a bunch of things but he was intercepted by a babushka before he could even get the lid up.  I'm glad they didn't go to waste.  We had plans to escape to Kiev on the midnight train, which at this point seemed like paradise.  And we had already extended our plane tickets once, I did not want to pay another fee.  To this day I think it was on purpose, just because she could, and we would have to pay rent a couple more days.
On our last weekend in town I got a stomach bug and ended up spending the night on the floor of the hallway (to be close to the bathroom).  It was definitely rock bottom.